If you love 'em you'll set 'em free ...Really?
One of the main culprits in relationships ending way before they are ever given a fighting chance is the idea that if your partner no longer seem to be happy in the relationship that you should “let them go” ...that if it's meant to be they will return to you.
Is that really true? I can see how people could think that way, but at the same time I can't help but feel that if you really love someone your gonna fight for them.
Every relationship goes through ups and downs, even the seemingly perfect ones because no relationship is “perfect”. Every relationship is made up of two imperfect people from two completely different lives coming together in an imperfect world to form one cohesive life - there are gonna be days when things just don't seem to fit. But does that mean that either of you ever needs to “go figure things out”?
In most cases absolutely not. You don't need to break up or be “on a break” to have space. More often than not this does more harm than good, just look at what happened to Ross and Rachel on Friends!
Before you “let them go” think about this, more often than not one of two things will happen; One, they leave and never come back. Or two, they leave and go about their life (without you), eventually meet someone else, spend a lot of time getting to know them (maybe even becoming intimate with them), and then realize that they aren't happy with that person either and want you back.
Good news? Depends on how you look at it. You may truly love them and be happy to have them back no matter what may have gone on when you were apart, but have you thought about all that comes back with them? (If you've ever fought about exes before, you now have one more to fight about.)
How much of themselves did they truly give to someone else when you were no longer in the picture? I look at it like this, every time we allow ourselves to trust someone enough to be in a relationship with them, we give of ourselves to them a part of us that we can never get back. If you “let them go”, while they are “free” you may lose a part of them (that they have given to someone else), that YOU can never get back. How much of them do you really want to share with anyone else?
If you love 'em I say you fight with every bone in your body to make it work, to keep 'em from wanting or feeling like they need to go. And then and only then, do you even consider the possibility of letting them go!
*Please note that this article is written as personal opinion based on my own experiences as well as my own viewpoint of the experiences around me. Of course all relationships are different and present different challenges, so what may or may not work for me may be different for you. This piece is just meant to be one way of looking at things, one girls lesson learned in a sea of lessons learned!
So what do you think? If you love 'em do you really set 'em free?
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